You Need To Love Yourself

How’s this for a thought? I don’t think many of us love ourselves enough. I’m not talking about whether someone comes across as confident, I’m talking about what we really think about ourselves – that deep down feeling we don’t like to give a lot of attention to, or worse yet, that feeling that consumes our entire being, living only under that thin layer of a mask we wear.

I’m bringing this up because obviously, I came to a point where I realized I didn’t love myself as much as I could or should. This stuff runs deep and there can be so many levels to it. Some of this comes in the form of day to day lifestyle choices, like not making enough time for ourselves, and some of this comes from a false sense of identity which perhaps leads to destructive behaviors.

For me, it probably runs on the deeper rather than the shallower (easier) end, but if I’m completely honest, I also don’t have the energy to be dwelling on this every day. I have, however, decided to give this a little more attention because we as humans are always striving for so many things and yet, I don’t think we can go very far unless we are fueled with the right stuff. Let me make this clear, I don’t think EVERYONE is messed up and “needs” to love themselves more. I know people who are happy and are at a good place. We do, however, go through ups and downs, and many are able to seek improvement and change under a very positive light.

Perhaps I should put this “loving yourself more” thing under some context. Have you been in a place where you’re trying to do better at work/school because the root of it is about being loved and appreciated more? Who has settled for less than you would like or need, just because you feel like it’s not your place to have a say or make demands? What I’m saying is, you can be doing the best of things but be doing so because for some reason you think that otherwise, you would not be enough. Admittedly, this is a very fine line because there is nothing wrong with wanting to become better. Perhaps the difference is whether you are doing something despite knowing you are worthy enough, or because of the opposite. Like I said, this runs on so many levels and it could be a simple case of living a healthier lifestyle just to love yourself more, not because you were intentionally harming your body – you just didn’t give it too much thought.

To begin this scary journey which can only do good but will probably bring up a lot of my own bullshit, I thought of a few things that I could or would like to do as an act of love for myself:

  • Make space for “me time”, to slow down and not be busy, to have time to be with my thoughts
  • Meditate
  • Cook for myself
  • Slow down and be calmer, to not always be “reactive”
  • Exercise!
  • Go outside (whether it’s to enjoy the sun or to play in the rain)
  • Wear makeup (or not) because I feel like it
  • Buy myself flowers because I like them
  • Stop making excuses for other people
  • Do something nice for other people for absolutely no return (I will probably feel good from doing this which technically makes it a selfish act?)
  • Spend more time with family
  • Stay in touch with good friends
  • Be kind to myself and stop beating myself up for every mishap
  • Remember all the things I have overcome and believe I can do that again with whatever lies ahead
  • Be more grateful
  • Not to lose my childlikeness or curiosity

This list can go on and on because you know what? Saying it is so much easier than doing it. What are some things you think we can do to love ourselves more? Let me know in the comments if there’s anything from the list above you would like me to dig deeper into – I might be up for the challenge! (Not making any promises here because I’m unbelievably stubborn and lazy).


Banner photo by Jakob Owens on Unsplash


6 Comments Add yours

    1. rachiepn says:

      Such a fine line, isn’t it? I can’t quite put into words how it takes brutal honesty to know if you love yourself enough – our actions can mean so many things and so easily justified.


  1. This post is so important. It’s way too easy to not even realize you’re not loving yourself enough. I love the list, you’ve given me some great ideas for myself as well! Thank you for sharing. x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. rachiepn says:

      Thanks for this comment! Means a lot to me to know that this resonates with others 🙂


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