Hey it’s me again, Stranger. Remember me? That person who has a blog but never really bothers to write in it? Well, when she does she keeps it up for a few weeks then she’s gone for several months before you see her update her blog again.
This is getting weird.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again – I think I’ll keep saying this – I just never know what to blog about. The other day my friends from Third Culture Playgroundtold me they miss my vlogs and I should keep doing it *awwwww* - but here’s my reply, “FML my MacBook is so slow I’d rather direct and produce than edit anything.”
Reading the news and seeing all these articles about the Hong Kong Book Fair have been so upsetting. Maybe I’m delusional but I’ve always thought that the book fair should be somewhat of a cultural event – books: fiction, non-fiction, how-to’s, cook books, I just didn’t expect it to become a soft porn festival.
It’s sad enough that mainstream entertainment is in so many ways defined by how little girls can strip down to, but now the book fair?!
Let me be clear – it’s not my business if girls want to be porn stars, I just think it’s eye-roll-worthy in its extreme when they call themselves models. What are you modeling, exactly? Oh, oh, THAT bikini you’re barely keeping on. Sorry, I went blind for a second. What’s all that toothpaste dripping out of your mouth? Oh, just a part of modeling, is it? Okay, it just looks a lot like porn and I’m confused, that’s all. If you’re doing what a porn star does, just admit it and it won’t be so upsetting for people who care for where this city (or others, as I’m sure this is not just a HK thing) is headed. What kind of role model are we being for the generations to come? What are we supposed to tell our children? Models are basically porn stars, but not all, there are professional ones.. no wait, these are professional too, just, in a very different way. How can you tell the difference? You might have to judge their appearance…………………What?
In my household, being gay was, and is, no big deal. When my brother came out, we hugged him, said we loved him, and that was that…Just for the record, we don’t feel that there is actually anything alternative about our family values…I don’t consider myself just an ally to the LGBT community, I consider myself your family…if anyone, ever, tries to hurt you, I’m going to give them hell…There are people who have said that I’m being brave for being openly supportive of gay marriage, gay adoption, basically of gay rights. But with all due respect I humbly dissent. I’m not being brave. I’m being a decent human being. And I don’t think I should receive an award for that, or for merely stating what I believe to be true, that love is a human experience, not a political statement. However, I acknowledge that sadly we live in a world where not everybody feels the same. My family and I will help the good fight continue until that long awaited moment arrives, when our rights are equal and when the political limits on love have been smashed.
Yesterday I saw my friend ‘like’ a FB post of Anne Hathaway talking about gay rights. I have huge respect for those who love on their beloved and stand up for what they believe in, yet may I propose that love is not only loving on someone or something you agree with, but that real love comes when you love on that person regardless of whether you agree with what they stand for or not.
Please be patient and give me till the end of this post if you’re getting agitated and think this is a post about whether homosexuality is right or wrong, this is a post about what I thinklove is. Yes, you’ll have to brace yourself because I’m going to throw some Bible verses around, but I feel I can only explain my views if I share from my core values.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you… If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? – Matthew 4:43-44, 46-47
A little background information – back in those days, tax collectors were seen as the bad guys, perhaps just like the government of HK these days. My understanding of this passage is that it’s hard to be good to those you love, even those who you may think are evil do it: corrupt government officials probably still provide for their families, triad bosses may still apologize and ask forgiveness from their spouses, and so on. The real question is: what about the unlovable? What about those you don’t agree with? Continue reading →
Before I started dating, when my boyfriend and I were still getting to know each other, we knew we liked each other. Why? We texted each other everyday. For hours. To me it’s quite obvious there’s something if there’s a guy I talk to everyday, but one night when I was feeling upset and he called to check up on me, it felt special. Super special. It’s strange when you think about it, because friends used to always talk over the phone anyway – it’s how they stayed in touch. I guess it’s when someone asks you to hang out that made it special. Of course, it still is, but as time goes by, our expectation for human interaction has steadily lowered. I find myself defaulting to texting these days, and I don’t usually like to call unless I have to, or if I know that person well. REALLY WELL.
One day, I was scrapbook-ing and looking at my hand writing when this thought struck my mind like all things that strike, “I don’t even know what my boyfriend’s handwriting looks like!!!” That really weirded me out. Back at school, friends and I would write notes to each other. It made sense to know what your close friends’ handwriting looks like. These days I’ve only seen my own writing in my journal and my mom’s on post-it notes all over the place.
We’ve all seen the overtaggers. They’re annoying. I’m sorry if you’re one of them, but you are being extremely annoying when you do that. They say “a picture paints a thousand words” – that means you don’t have to show me the thousand words.
*If you don’t know what hash tags are, there’s a Wikipedia definition at the end of this post.
“In Hollywood, I’m obese. I’m considered a fat actress. I eat like a caveman. I’ll be the only actress who doesn’t have anorexia rumors! I’m never going to starve myself for a part. I’m invincible. I don’t want little girls to be like “Oh, I want to look like Katniss, so I’m going to skip dinner!” – Jennifer Lawrence
Meet my new heroine: Jennifer Lawrence.
For a while I couldn’t decide if I liked her or not. I wasn’t sure if she was awesome for being her own crazy self, or if she was just thirsty for attention; but when I saw this quote I admired her. These days it takes a lot of courage for an actress to say something this, whether she eventually succumbs to the pressure to be thin not. Perhaps she can say this because she is Jennifer Lawrence, but I really hope she is Jennifer Lawrence today because she stands up for what she believes.
I’ve been told I am someone who stands up for what I think is right, but when it comes to being thin, I get stung a lot and I back down quite easily. I don’t think I’m fat, but as soon as I say this I get the look that says (or people actually say), “are you serious?! You don’t think you’re fat?!” – and this is where I shut off and start feeling fat and ugly. Well now that I’m writing all this and no one is here to stop me, I’d like to say, yes, I don’t think I’m fat, I don’t think I’m stick-skinny, and those things are really quite different.
I think half of this is just PMS, but last night I got off from work pretty stressed out about not having enough jobs. That’s right, I don’t get roles handed to me on silver platters and I’m pretty broke.
This morning I woke up and saw an email from my mom telling me she doesn’t know what are the right things to say when I’m like that. I appreciate her love and advice, but also had to explain to her I’ve tried to do those things and why they don’t usually work. THAT depressed the crap out of me. I kind of had a bit of an emotional break down. Continue reading →
I have this friend who can be unbelievably annoying, rude, self-centered, stubborn, and as a person who gives off this vibe, shameless. I quite often ask myself why I’m friends with someone like this and it usually boils down to: I need and should be a bigger person than this; not because I’m great and amazing, but because I can be as – if not more – annoying, rude, selfish and stubborn. And shameless, yes.
I was going to tell you all about how he pushed my buttons, but I realized that the point is that I need to let go of all this and move on. This morning when I snapped back at this person I, for some reason thought, “It’s Christmas, I should forgive.” Of course, the actual realization only came when I remembered that Jesus died for my sins not so that I will forgive one petty offense, but so that I will be free from being unforgiving everyday of my life.
Perhaps I have failed time and time again because I was fighting for the wrong things.
I looked at people around me who were motivated by fame and money, and I thought, if I want these things as bad as they do I’d be able to pay the price too. The truth is, when I used that as motivation, I just keep falling to the place where I think, “screw it, I can do without it”; then it makes me feel like some strange being who just doesn’t want anything very much at all. I thought, “everyone has some big goal/passion they’d give everything for, except for me.” It made me feel so strange about myself and about life, like I was just drifting through it with no particular purpose or drive. Continue reading →