Wow it’s been quite a crazy week… Or two. I’ve been having a much better time at work but other than that I’ve just been hiding at home and making some brief appearances around town as I hope to crawl back in bed.
I’ve always had trouble sleeping but for the last week or two I’d wake up and be too tired to do anything, so two hours later I’d be back in bed passing out with a throbbing headache. I wouldn’t wake up until four hours later and would go back to bed at my normal bed time. Serious.
As great as it is to be able to sleep, chronic (ok maybe I’m exaggerating a little, but CONSTANT) headache and fatigue really doesn’t put anyone in a good mood. One night my mom just got to the point and asked if I need help.
I ate way too much. I ate when I didn’t need to: four times. [-4]
I was also good. It started with me choosing to go to Sai Kung for lunch and intentionally slowed down. Normally I’d have gotten awkward from sitting there after lunch not knowing what to look at and would just run home. I had to make myself read the paper, play zoo keeper, journal, read my book… but I left feeling relaxed! [+1]
I exercised twice today. Not very intense, but twice. [+2]
I didn’t really feel ashamed of myself today, and I was at work. That’s as good as a one-two punch. [+2]
This is my absolute favorite weather! It’s unfortunate that it’s also the shortest season in Hong Kong. I guess favorite seasons don’t come by often
I don’t have work till tonight so I’m sitting at a restaurant in Sai Kung for lunch! Dang I realized I have issues when it comes to decision making. I woke up loving the weather, acknowledged that I have the afternoon free, and that there’s no food in my fridge, and I still didn’t know if I should go out for lunch.
Hahaha geez, let go and live a little, Rach.
I was just kind of stuck in my own mind thinking if I stay in I’m being good. What the duck?! Seriously, half the time I don’t know what I’m thinking so if you’re around me and I’m being weird, forgive me. It’s like right now, I’m drinking some strong coffee and my hands are starting to shake and I’m just typing away on my iPad because it makes a really nice sound.
Anyway, do any of you ever have this problem? Not doing things you don’t quite have a reason for, but not knowing what to do with yourselves? Seriously having to decide what to do when it comes to a day off or ordering food, or whether I should make a trip to the shop, should I go for a swim, or should I just forget it all and relax and do whatever? Then again, when I decide to let go and just do whatever (or in other words, ‘relax’), I still don’t know what I should do.
If you don’t know what I’m on about, congratulations!
Hi! It’s me again! Yep, I went off the radar for about two weeks and now I’m writing posts one after another. Talk about consistency.
In my last post I wrote about stress management (more like asked about), and basically for the rest of the night I’ve been thinking about the same thing. Truth is, I struggle with a bit more than stress and I think a lot of people out there struggle with the same things alone when they shouldn’t have to.
I can sit here all night and package this with fancy words while avoiding some, but the point of this is me being open and honest with you guys – and let’s face it, I don’t want to sleep but I do have to wake up early for work in a few hours’ time:
If you struggle with depression and/or eating disorder, turn around and wave, because I’m in the same boat.
Production for the new drama “好心作怪” started, and even though I’ve been having fun shooting it, I can’t deny that I don’t know how to manage stress. Over the last two weeks there’s been more than two occasions where I thought I was actually going crazy.
Sometimes I look at people and think that they have it all together. I know that can’t be true, but that’s how I fee sometimes. I wonder if anyone looks at me and thinks the same thing. If any such person exists I’d be more than happy to tell you my flaws and issues then we’d see how delusional we’ve been and see that we’re all imperfect and there’s no need to want to be anyone but ourselves.
Anyway, I was dead serious when I said I don’t know how to manage stress. What do you guys do? You know what was really scary for me? I don’t quite know what I really enjoy doing. A lot of things, like exercise and watching tv are more of a distraction than something that really relaxes me, and that’s pretty annoying when you’re super tense and do all these stuff that doesn’t even really help. Well, that was a lie. They help, but kind of just helps you get by instead of truly refreshing you. Does that make any sense?